An unlikely champion this week.

The Killer

I can’t remember the last time I saw something as slight and forgettable as David Fincher‘s The Killer, a technically dazzling but ultimately hollow revenge drama about a sociopathic nutbag (a very good Michael Fassbender) seeking revenge on the clients and colleagues who tried to do him in. We’ve seen so many elaborate and fantastic revenge dramas, from Oldboy to Kill Bill, that something as low-key as The Killer feels immediately underwhelming. It would be one thing if the small film had an aggressive personality, but in an attempt to match its anti-hero’s cold, rote persona, the whole thing comes off as pretty bland.

The Killer curiously has the shot composition of most Fincher movies – cold, sterile, precise, haunting – but it possesses the editing style of a Steven Soderbergh movie, almost like a less engaging Kimi. That’s because Fincher would send Soderbergh scenes from the film to edit in his free time. As far as how much of the actual movie is edited by Soderbergh, only Stevie and Dave know. As much as I didn’t love the film, I’d consider buying a Criterion blu ray of this if Soderbergh and Fincher did a shared commentary track.

The screenplay by Se7en and 8MM‘s Andrew Kevin Walker is The Killer‘s weakest element, filled with self-important monologues and conversations. However, the opening 10-minute monologue is the groundwork for a punchline that ignites the film’s central conflict. It was one of only two times I laughed during the movie – the other was when a crazy pit bull charged its way through a back door, trying to bite Fassbender‘s heinie.

For a movie with paper-thin characters, the acting is uniformly good. Tilda Swinton, arguably the best actress on the planet, has a very entertaining five-minute role as one of the contract killers Fassbender is seeking revenge on. Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, Mank) also is very good as some rich Chicago fucker. I didn’t recognize any other actor in this movie.

Overall, this is what I would classify as a good movie, but it failed to engage me emotionally. It’s always fun to marvel at Fincher‘s technique, but I craved something more substantial. Grade: B- (Netflix)

The Holdovers

Ughhh. Hmmm. Out of all the new movies I’ve seen in 2023, this was the one I had the most mixed feelings about. From a distance, it’s an insightful, funny, feel-good odd coupling of well-defined characters who hate each other at first but then predictably begin to understand each other and even learn from each other, enabling them to become better people. Once you start peeling back the layers and this thing is about an hour in, you realize that most of it is surface. The characters aren’t nearly as interesting as you first thought, despite uniformly solid performances, and the movie is rushing through beats it seems to be checking off of a coming-of-age drama list. An example of this is a really brief scene where the lead boy kisses a girl at a party, and it goes nowhere and seems to exist for no other reason than that’s on the checklist of a coming-of-age movie. The kiss doesn’t give that character any added confidence to carry into act three, and it’s used almost as a misdirect before delving into another character’s grief over losing her son in Vietnam.

Holy shit, ya’ll, sorry, I really just jumped into this. The Holdovers is the new Alexander Payne (Sideways, Downsizing) comedic drama set at a prestigious East Coast boarding school in the early 1970s. It’s shot on film to give it that old-ass look, and the opening credit sequence is also in the style of 70s movies where the end credits are in the beginning. It is set in the 70s and feels like it was made in the 70s. Anyway, when winter break rolls around, teen student Angus (Dominic Sessa) finds out his shitty mom is instead spending Christmas with her new husband because she sucks, and he’s stuck at the boarding school. Unfortunately for him, the teacher who drew the short straw to chaperone the left-behind students is the grumpiest in the whole school – Mr. Hunham, played by human muppet Paul Giamatti. They sure don’t like each other, but not because Angus is failing his class – in another classic, coming-of-age checklist item, Angus is actually the smartest kid in his class even though his angsty attitude matches the dumb kids. They don’t like each other cause they’re more similar than they think! Also staying behind at the school is Mary Lamb (Da’Vine Joy Randolph), the lunch lady who recently lost her 19-year-old son in Vietnam and is not ready to go home and celebrate Christmas without him. It’s gonna be one hell of a Christmas break, especially when they road trip into Boston!

Sorry, I realize it must sound like I hated this movie, but I actually didn’t. I enjoyed the acting when I wasn’t actively annoyed with how lazy the writing was. Despite being primarily comprised of cliches and not quite funny enough to be a completely satisfying comedy or deep enough to be a completely satisfying drama, it’s a relatively easy watch. Sometimes, it’s even a little moving. Most of this is due to Giamatti, who milks his role for everything it is worth in the best possible way. He practically adds dimensions to the character with his delivery. Newcomer Dominic Sessa and especially Da’Vine Joy Randolph also do the most with their characters, though I wouldn’t cite their work as nomination-worthy as most pundits have.

The Holdovers is an all-right movie. In fact, it’s better than many Holiday classics I rewatch repeatedly (*cough* Scent of a Woman *cough* The Santa Clause). Perhaps time will soften me on this one like time softened up Mr. Hunham to Angus. See? I’m already referencing Holdovers characters in analogies. Grade: B- (In Theaters)

Priscilla

Despite really appreciating Lost in Translation, I am normally not a Sofia Coppola fan so I was shocked I ended up loving Priscilla, her refreshingly bleak and minimalist look at America’s favorite hound dog seen through the eyes of a frightened teenager. A lot has been documented about Elvis Presley being a pedophile and a groomer, not unheard of for a lot of our country’s most powerful and talented artists, including passages from Priscilla Presley’s 1985 memoir “Elvis & Me” on which the film is based. Presley also served as an Executive Producer on the film. The movie begins like a human trafficking drama, with some random messenger of Elvis’ approaching Priscilla’s family’s table at a local diner. He says Elvis, a known entity at this time, would love to meet her and her parents are like….ok! Sure, they’re a bit skeptical with each visit Elvis requests, but each ends the same way – with 14-year-old Priscilla being shoved into the backseat of a car, precious cargo for The Hillbilly Cat to drool over.

As Priscilla Presley, ages 14 through 28, 25-year-old Cailee Spaeny (The Craft: Legacy) is absolutely remarkable. This is one of the most immersive performances of the year and I found myself forgetting this was an adult woman playing a child in the early scenes. She doesn’t overplay anything and neither she or Coppola or interested in making her an overly likable character. You feel sorry for her, but she’s more or less is portrayed as a fairly dull person, like most 14-year-olds. As the film progresses she attaches herself to and becomes an extension of Elvis’ personality, engaging in late nights, pill popping and eventual sex (when she’s 18) with the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll, but try as she might she can never get completely close to him. When she tries to play back with him, he perceives it as a legitimate challenge and turns mean/hits her.

It’s important to note that Coppola doesn’t render Elvis a one-dimensional groaning monster in this movie. When Elvis talks to Priscilla there’s some sincerity. When he talks about missing home, you really believe him. When he talks about not cheating on tour, you know he’s full of crap. Much like a child, Coppola‘s Elvis is prone to anger, especially when he doesn’t get what he wants. He’s a control freak who leans on his posse to constantly kiss his ass, and when he has enough substances coursing through his blood stream, he acts like a destructive frat boy. One very hilarious scene sees him bulldozing an old house in the woods for no reason other than he’s drunk and he wants to break shit. It’s no wonder Coppola cast Euphoria and The Kissing Booth Trilogy’s Jacob Elordi, a tall, handsome actor with a menacing stare that is no stranger to playing violent boyfriends. He’s very good but ultimately it’s Spaeny‘s show with everyone and everything else merely serving as window dressing.

That being said, although this is a small movie, the technical aspects are pretty dazzling. The costuming/hairstyling is amazing, the production design is on point, and the Elvis-free soundtrack is arguably the best of the year. Some of ya’ll will find this boring as it is most certainly a carefully observed slow burn, but it’s so well done I honestly didn’t care. I never felt like Priscilla wasn’t heading somewhere important, even in its most mundane moments. Grade: B+ (In Theaters)

No Hard Feelings

Sometimes, you’re just in the mood to watch a dumb comedy that is only medium funny and chock full of cliches. Unlike The Holdovers, which is trying to position itself as some human condition Neil Simon type-of-shit, No Hard Feelings knows it’s schlock and doesn’t care! How refreshing.

Jennifer Lawrence plays a 30-something bartender in Montauk, New York, who doesn’t have her shit together! When her ex-boyfriend (The Bear‘s Ebon Moss-Bachrach) tows the car she uses to moonlight as an Uber driver, she makes an embarrassing public spectacle of herself. If J-Law doesn’t make enough money this summer, she’ll lose her dead mom’s house! Enter a Craigslist ad that Matthew Broderick created stating she’ll receive an old Buick if she “dates” Broderick‘s 19-year-old son. “Date?” she asks Broderick when meeting with him and his wife in their eight-figure home. “Date his brains out!” exclaims Broderick, meaning they want her to fuck their son. Their reasoning is that their 19-year-old is a total nerd, and they want him to come out of his shell and not be such a weirdo in college. The only problem is their son is a total weirdo who won’t have sex with just anyone! He’s a deeply-sensitive boy, and he needs to feel a connection for there to be intimacy.

What proceeds are 100 awkward minutes of J-Law throwing herself at this skinny nerd and him being frightened of her forwardness. Eventually, the two become friends and understand each other in an arguably more believable way than Giamatti and his student in The Holdovers. Of course, it ends predictably, but there are two or three fantastic gags. One of which is a full-frontal nude J-Law kicking the shit out of beach teens who tried to steal her clothes. It’s like her Eastern Promises bathhouse scene but with less blood. No Hard Feelings is worth watching if you want to feel nothing, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Grade: B- (Netflix)

EARLY LOOK

Frasier (The New One)

I’ve been dying to see how bad or surprisingly good the new Frasier reboot was, but I wanted to wait to watch it with my buddy, Sam, with whom I initially became a Frasier fanatic in the summer of 2009. We were living together in a condo my parents owned, and we were approaching our sophomore year at ASU. Back then, streaming was in its infancy, and I was still getting Netflix DVDs shipped to me in the mail. For months and well into the school year, it became a regular thing to watch Frasier every night together, laughing our friggin’ skulls loose and sitting in complete awe of what brilliant performers Kelsey Grammer and David Hyde Pierce were. When the series eventually came to Netflix shortly after that, we thought we had died and gone to heaven. From The Ski Lodge to Halloween, we’d rewatch episodes over and over and over again. Since then, I’ve watched episodes of the original Frasier almost every night for the past ten years. I also identify as a Frasier-sleeper, meaning I fall asleep to the naturally smooth and mellow rhythms of the show’s comedic banter.

Flash forward to a little over a decade later when they announced a reboot was in the works and that Grammer would be the only returning cast member. John Mahoney had unfortunately passed away right around this time, so I know there wouldn’t be Martin, but Frasier without Niles seemed damn near impossible. So much of who Frasier is and how he acts is a direct reaction to his flippant younger brother. Upon taking in this news, I accepted this reboot would be bad. When Paramount+ dropped the nauseating trailer, I accepted this reboot would be the worst show ever made. This monstrosity shows Frasier returning to his old stomping ground, Boston, to reconnect with his awkward son Freddy, who has since become a firefighter. Setting up the Martin/Frasier dynamic, only switching it from Macho Dad/Posh Son to Posh Dad/Macho Son. Frasier also has his nephew David in tow, Niles and Daphne’s son, who is basically a less funny Niles who’s more aloof than sarcastic. While trying to reconnect with Freddy, he gets a job at Harvard with an old British dude and a college administrations lady. The jokes are slow and obvious, shallow in their construction, with zero staying power. They support thinly drawn new characters you never really care about. Keep in mind, these were just assumptions about the show I was making from watching the trailer. I mean, my god, the way it was edited made it seem like Chuck Lorre or someone had taken over the Frasier property. We were all doomed!!!!

Then, nearly three weeks after it dropped, I finally got around to watching the first four episodes with my buddy and was shocked. It wasn’t awful. It wasn’t necessarily good. Some of the jokes were real groaners, and at least one of the new cast members was dog shit fucking awful. However, Kelsey Grammer was great. I mean, of course, he was. He’s played this role for damn near half his life. His timing is excellent, and many of the scenes he shares with his son, Freddy (a pretty good Jack Cutmore-Scott), sing both comedically and dramatically. There’s a terrific sequence with an air hockey table doubling as a dinner table, where all the jokes hit and are wonderfully paced by the actors.

Only one episode of the four we watched I’d certify as total crap (#3), but 1,2 and 4 were overall not bad. If this wasn’t a show about Frasier, I wouldn’t have gotten past the pilot. Still, I’m holding out to see if things get better and if inspiration strikes in any way reminiscent of the original show or its predecessor, Cheers. Fingers crossed, I’m told that a Lilith appearance is right around the corner. Grade: C+ (Paramount+)