Reviewing My Childhood Reviews: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

Back when it came out I thought George LucasStar Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith was the 131st best film ever made. Oh my word, what an idiot. In this review, I fawn over mediocre crap. I was 15 at the time.

The Best Since ‘Empire’ – An Absolute Triumph in Filmmaking!

I have to say, I was extremely enthusiastic about seeing this movie. I really like Star Wars, and this was supposedly the last film they’d ever have. It would tie up all the loose ends of the saga, and complete one of the most loved and successful movie sagas of all time. The whole ride over to the movie theater that was playing ‘Revenge of the Sith’, the Star Wars theme was playing in my head, and I was beyond anxious to see how good (or unfortunately, how bad) this film would be. I read good and bad reviews of the third episode of the Star Wars films, some said it was the best one since ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, and other said it was just a poorly written, loud and expensive piece of Hollywood junk. I had an idea I would enjoy the film, but I didn’t know how much. After waiting in line for a half an hour, and sitting in the movie theater for forty-five minutes, those legendary opening credits started to roll, and the crowd started screaming and cheering in excitement. After the film was completed, I knew that this was the best Star Wars installment since ‘The Empire Strikes Back’, and maybe even better. ‘Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith’ is more then just a great movie, it’s a triumph and a hell of a way to end a mind-boggling Sci-Fi saga. I loved it!

The third episode of the Star Wars film’s story is very pessimistic in almost every way. It’s the downfall of Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) as a good guy and his turn to the dark side and his eventual transformation into Darth Vader. Anakin is a good and honest jedi, but he’s very arrogant and pompous. When he’s invited to be a part of the jedi council but not made a master, it infuriates him and causes him to become distant from his trainer, Obi-Wan Kenobi (played masterfully, of course, by U.K. film actor Ewan McGregor), and become closer with the corrupt and evil, Supreme Chancellor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), who’s secretly the Sith leader (the Jedi council’s biggest enemy). Anakin slowly but surely becomes seduced by the dark side, and it effects his relationships with Obi-Wan and his secret wife and former Queen of Naboo, Padme (Natalie Portman – in a very different role then her’s in ‘Garden State’). George Lucas‘ latest Star Wars installment, definitely contains the most mind-boggling visuals and action sequences then any of the other Star Wars pictures, with another stand-out fight scene with Yoda kicking Sith butt, and a powerful and visually stunning lightsaber duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan over a river of hot lava.

Although the film’s action and story line is truly genius, the film’s acting is a little iffy. Ewan McGregor is outstanding as to be expected as the wise jedi master of Anakin, giving the best performance of the film. Natalie Portman is good as always as Padme, and McDiarmid and Samuel L. Jackson give first-rate performances in their roles. The real disappointment is Hayden Christensen. I could think of many actors who could play the role so much better then Christensen. The problem is Christensen isn’t that good of an actor, he’s very one-dimensional, and to play a character as confused, conflicted and complicated as Anakin Skywalker, you need to be a multi-dimensional actor. He never really made you believe he was going through harsh changes, and that kind of affected the film’s greatness. Fortunatley, all the other undeniably wonderful aspects of the film almost make up for his lackluster and tiresome performance. George Lucas does a excellent job directing and writing this soon to be classic, and it’s such an improvement of his work on both Episode I and II.

All in all, when everything is said and done, ‘Revenge of the Sith’ is an incredibly remarkable achievement in science fiction film-making. The reason why Star Wars is such a wonderful and well-received saga, is because the original 1977 film (now known as Episode IV – A New Hope) was such a stride and landmark in American cinema. The original Star Wars really changed the world of film-making forever, and not many people have forgotten that. In closing, ‘Episode III’ is not only such an important film because of it’s extraordinary quality, but because it concludes the film series with the biggest cult following in history — STAR WARS! Grade: A- (screened at AMC Deer Valley 30, Phoenix, Arizona, 5/22/05)


My 2020 Assessment:

  1. LOL “supposedly the last one they’d ever have” Welcome to 2020, Michael, it’s an unstoppable rebel force.
  2. Some reviews said it was “poorly written, loud and expensive” – pretty accurate
  3. WTF I showed up to the theater 75 minutes before the movie began?! Sounds like my dad!
  4. “…maybe even better (than Empire Strikes Back)”
  5. “A mind-boggling sci-fi saga” It’s probably the most conventional movie franchise ever.
  6. “It’s very pessimistic in every way” sounds like a fun movie!
  7. I like how I feel the need to tell everyone Anakin is a “good and honest Jedi”
  8. I also like how I remind everyone Ewan McGregor is a U.K. actor. He has such an American name, too.
Editorial use only. No book cover usage. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Merrick Morton/Lucasfilm/20th Century Fox/Kobal/Shutterstock (5886270ar) Samuel L. Jackson, George Lucas Star Wars Episode III – Revenge Of The Sith – 2005 Director: George Lucas Lucasfilm/20th Century Fox USA On/Off Set Scifi Star wars: Episode III – La revanche des sith
  1. Natalie Portman, in a very different role than Garden State.
  2. HAHAHAHAHAH. The film’s storyline is “truly genius”
  3. “The real disappointment is Hayden Christensen.” Holds up better than anything in this review so far.
  4. George Lucas does an excellent job…” Holds up worse than anything in this review so far.
  5. I think the funniest thing about this is that I feel the need to remind people the reason why Star Wars is so well received is because people liked the first one. I don’t know if you know this, but when Star Wars was released in 1977, it was a pretty big deal.
  6. Cult following?? Star Wars? Star Wars is the most mainstream film franchise ever created, it doesn’t have a cult following. It simply has a following.
  7. Well, this review was pretty terrible but I really wish you people would have chosen Cinderella Man, if only to see two paragraphs devoted to how much I hated Russell Crowe at the time. I have no idea why I had such hate for him, but I’m vicious.
  8. Review Grade: C-

One thought on “Reviewing My Childhood Reviews: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

  1. I wonder what would have happened if Agen Kolar and Anakin Skywalker fought Count Dooku and Darth Sidious had Darth Sidious revealed himself on the Invisible Hand. They both used the same lightsaber style, that being Form V, Djem So, however, Agen Kolar also employed Form IV, Ataru, which required significant energy expenditure and open space in order to be fully effective.


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